In The Family Way
by activerequiem
Summary: A non-chronological series of drabbles about the pregnancy of Maura Isles.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I felt the need to put some pieces together that were purely for my enjoyment and amusement, and what better way than Jane having to cope with a pregnant Maura? None of this will be in order, but eventually you'll get to find out how this happened, with more comedy along the way. Enjoy!

* * *

"Jane, I really don't think I can last much longer!"

"Don't you even _think_ about it, Maura. This is not happening now, and it is definitely not happening in my car!"

"He's really not giving me much of a choice, Jane!"

"Alright, I'm goin' as fast as I can! We'll be there soon, in the mean time just... Cross your legs or somethin'!"

"Please hurry, Jane. You have no idea how much this hurts!"

She was sure Maura would be more comfortable if she would just stop squirming, but Jane knew better than to question the doctor's position considering it was Maura with the swollen belly, and appealing breasts to match. Even at her current size the medical examiner looked nothing less than radiant, high class maternity wear accentuating curves that Jane thought wrong to ignore or not appreciate on a daily basis. Jesus, if only Giovanni could see her rack right now...

_Road, Jane. Focus on the damn road._

"Roughly as much as being shot in the abdomen?" receiving a swift strike to the scar tissue beneath her shirt it was Jane's turn to groan "Ow! I'm sorry! I'm Just tryin' to get you to focus on somethin' else! Why don't you meditate? Try and centre your Chaka Khans?"

"Chakras," the caramel haired doctor corrected, Maura trying her hardest not to let her scowl break as Jane's yelp filled her with satisfaction "And I haven't been able to align my Muladhara in days."

"Yeah, them things. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths, Maur. That's it, we'll get your moulin rouge sorted in no ti – WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOU ASSHOLE?!"

Maura wasn't sure which startled her more, the sudden force of tires against tarmac or the brash brunette's holler in unison with a punch of her horn, all three causing her to jump from her seat as much as her additional weight would allow "Jane!"

"Oh, c'mon he totally cut me up-" the wrinkles were back on Maura's brows, Jane sheepishly refraining from making eye contact as she worked her car back into gear "Right. Relaxing. Got'cha. Deep breath in... Deep breath out... Think about twinkling stars, whale song, fresh crashing waves-" a flare of her passenger's nostrils had the detective change her tactics "Uh, okay, maybe you _shouldn't_ think about water... Hey Maura, we're here!"

"Oh, thank God." Proving her fitness even in her second trimester Maura's seatbelt repelled from her faster than Jane could make a bullet leave her gun, the driver unable to keep from laughing gently as she watched the desperate woman walk as fast as she could to the doorway of her house, her waddle akin to that of the ducks Jane planned for their kid to feed in the future.

_Don't quack. She'll kill you if you quack._

Satisfying herself with a small yet smug grin Jane turned off the engine before meandering inside. She figured this was good practice for the day Maura _actually _gave birth, instead of making her put her pedal to the metal all because she needed to pee.

Rapping her knuckles against the bathroom door Jane leant into the frame as she waited for her partner to relieve herself "Hey, Maur? You feelin' better now?"

A great sigh of relief from behind the door had the smug smile replaced by one of pure affection "You have _no_ idea."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you all so much for your favourites and follows! I woke up to a LOT of emails the night after posting the last chapter. Reviews are always nice too :) Also, there's a certain part of this that is clearly for amusement purposes only, so please don't go all hardarse fangirling on me ;)

* * *

"I _like_ Clementine!"

"Yeah well you also like bunny pancakes, but we're sure as hell not namin' our kid after'em!"

"Oh don't be so preposterous Jane, of course I would never subject to a name that would have our child bullied. Bunny Pancakes Isles-Rizzoli really doesn't roll off the tongue."

"What that a joke, Doctor Isles?"

"I do believe it wa – no! Jane! Stop it! My feet are very sensitive to Knismesis! "

Becoming Maura's personal foot massager definitely had its perks; Jane's favourite being the unrestrained moans of content that came from the detective's perfected handiwork, although making her squirm and squeal came as a close second.

"It's called tickling, Maura," Jane's own laughter sounded like a cello complimenting the violin notes of Maura's giggles, unable to resist joining in with the infectious sound as her playful assault continued "How come Isles has to come first, anyway? Huh? What's wrong with Rizzoli-Isles?"

"Nothing! Jane! Please! If I bruise your thoracic cage you cannot blame me! JANE!"

"My thora-what-now-!" Jane's question was answered as her prey kicked out in defiance, Maura's toes jutting hard against her ribs "Ouch!"

"I did warn you," eyes wide with gentle concern it took two attempts for the fairer haired woman to push her back from the end of the couch, hand gently brushing over the lower half Jane's torso "Did I really hurt you?"

"No, Maura. I just like to yell in pain a lot..." a feigned scowl quickly turned into a look of panic as Jane saw the ever-ready tears beginning to brim in Maura's eyes. Getting used to these hormone changes were going to take a while "Aw, please don't cry. I was kiddin'. C'mere..." pulling the snivelling woman into a gentle embrace Jane tried her hardest not to wince as their mutual bump nestled into her side "Ma always did warn me about rough housin'. I guess she was right... Although you _will not_ tell her that."

Sniffing deeply the tears began to sparkle with the smile that finally appeared on the medical examiner's face "I won't, unless she asks me directly," snug against the taunt form of her best friend Maura only paused to sigh gently, expressing her gratitude of being within Jane's arms "Speaking of which, have you thought about your mother?"

"Generally I try not to..."

"I mean her _name,_ Jane. Maybe not as the first, but perhaps as the middle name?"

Jane's nose wrinkled in disapproval "Angela? Nah. It'll only get shortened to Angie and I'm not too fond of that either. Plus you know if you put Ma's name in there it'd be wrong not to do the same with your mother's."

"Which one?"

"Exactly! Right now we're workin' with Baby Bunny Pancake Constance Hope Angela Rizzoli-Isles."

"Bunny Pancake Constance Hope Angela Isles-Rizzoli," Maura countered with a teasing smile "_If_ we're having a girl. If we happen to have a little boy we'll have Thomas, Franceso..."

"... Vincent and _Barold_ to consider before any of our pop's names come into play." Using the top of Maura's head as a pillow for her own Jane's words were broken by a groan not too dissimilar to the noises she made when Maura offered her 'the easy way, or the hard way'.

"Jeeze, y'know what? I'm really beginning to like Clementine..."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you for all the follows, favourites and reviews! I'm glad to know other people are enjoying these :)

* * *

"You're alright with shamrot..."

"Shamrock..."

"...And fartreuse..."

"_Chartreuse, _Jane."

"Fine, _chartreuse,"_ Maura's emphasis on the correction was repeated by the off duty detective, her usual roughly edged accent enunciating each of the letters in turn as if she'd been born with a silver spoon in her mouth "But no Red Sox red? Not even a little Bruin's brown?"

"We're talking about the décor of a nursery, Jane. Bruins brown would be far too dark for our child to flourish in. Most people associate it with as much negativity as black, and the shade is often associated with a lack of humour, heaviness, lack of sophistication..."

"Oh darling, of course we wouldn't want _that_," the upper-class accent was back, Jane unable to hold down the grin that began to split across her lips as her shopping buddy narrowed her eyes "Our kid is never going to lack sophistication with you around, momma Maura."

Frown lines were replaced by the softest of crow's feet as the compliment buoyed Maura's happiness. Even when her back ached, her breasts were tender, and even when her bladder felt ready to rupture one heartfelt comment from her loved one caused her hormones to harbour themselves "Oh, Jane... You're sweet, but I still don't think brown would be right for a baby's room. Or red, for that matter."

"How can you of all people not like red? You work in a _morgue_."

"So you'd like me to associate our child with death?"

"... Fair point." Continuing to browse through the tins of paint Maura's heels clipped against the tiled floor as Jane pushed the cart idly beside her, occasionally pushing hard enough to raise her feet from the floor and enjoy the ride "Y'know this would be a lot easier if you'd wait until after we've found out the sex of the baby."

"That can only happen after eighteen weeks of pregnancy, Jane. They have to see either the labia, or the scrotum and penis to determine whether we have a girl or boy. The parts are very small and it can be challenging depending on the position of the baby, and by that time we could be knee deep in cases at work, so I think its best we get at least the base coats done now."

"Or that's just a spiel that actually means you're impatient."

Choosing not to grant Jane an answer Maura's eyes continued to scan the labels of the paint tins "How about something like Apricot? Perhaps Flax?"

"All from a woman who favours 'redish-brown stains...'

Pivoting on her heels a very stern faced doctor crossed her arms below her breasts as she questioned Jane's mumble "Do I have to threaten you with begonia, Jane?"

"No..."

"Good," the stern charade stayed in place until Maura faced the shelves again, unable to stop it slipping into a smile all thanks to Jane's meek and adorable behaviour, like a small child knowing that she'd done wrong. A compromise was needed "How about a nice and vibrant, gender neutral shade of Celtics green?"

"Okay, now we're talkin'" eyes bright with enthusiasm Jane's head began to turn as ideas began to form "Hey, do you reckon they have animal stencils in here?"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I seem to have a bit of writer's block right now, which is why this is a bit shorter than usual! Sorry about that.

* * *

"Please tell me that you are _not_ reading a text book to the bump."

"Okay, I won't."

"Maura..."

"It's only a small demographical piece by doctor..."

Eyes rolling the newly arrived brunette sat herself down at the feet of her partner in a less than graceful manner, her butt hitting the floor with a small _thunk! _She'd only been gone an hour and already Maura was trying to turn their unborn baby into a brain-bump "If you're not following that up with Suess then I'm not interested."

Closing the hefty dust jacket the heavily pregnant woman smiled adoringly and placed it to the side, Jane's remark causing her heart to swell – a pleasant change from the heartburn that liked to plague her. She'd always been certain that her friend would make a fantastic mother, but it was small comments like this that confirmed the notion "Well perhaps you should educate _me _in the works of the good Doctor, hm?" Clearing her throat as if she were preparing for a dramatic reading Jane placed her hand down onto Maura's stomach as she began "Oh the places you'll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all."

"Winning-est?"

"You're spoiling it."

"Sorry," pursing her lips together Maura stifled the grin that was evolving from her previous smile, "Do go on."

"Y'know what, bump? I think your mom is laughing at me."

Maura's hand settled on top of the detective's, fingers splayed out between Jane's to join them as a family "Only because your Madre is being positively adorable, bump."

"Aw Maur, c'mon. I can't have the kid hearin' that. I'm gunna be the one to scare away the boogie-man; I've got to maintain my reputation."

"I can't lie, Jane. If I have a vasovagal episode then I'll be putting the baby at risk, so I have to speak the truth."

"Uh huh, nice excuse Maura."

"I thought so."

Eyes closing, Jane groaned as a wave of realisation washed over her "You're gunna teach our baby big words too, aren't you."

"Well, no. An infant doesn't start speaking until four months at a minimum, and even then I highly doubt she will be ready for anything beyond 'mumma'. It will take eighteen to twenty months for her to string short sentences together... Maybe when she's a toddler..."

"Maura!"

"Oh, was that one of your hypothetical groans?"

"You categorize my _groans _now?"

"Well, you do have several. One for pain, one for questions you don't want answered, one for when I want you to eat greens, one for when you're sexually frustrated... I suppose those that you make _during_ sex really should have their own subcategory..."

"I do not like them in a box. I do not like them with a fox I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse..."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: A little less of the cute and fuzzy, a little more of the... Well, you'll see.

* * *

"Jane..."

"Mhm..."

"Please Jane?"

"I don't wanna, Maura."

"You may not break out into hives but I know when you're lying."

"I'm not lying."

"Jane..."

"I'm not!"

"Your pupils are dilated."

"So?"

"Judging by that, and how quickly your nipples have hardened beneath your vest I can easily determine that you're sexually aroused and that you _do_ want to."

"It could just be a little chilly in here, y'know."

"You're lying, your left eyebrow moved."

"Yeah, well I-" it was incredibly difficult for Jane to come up with any more excuses given that Maura's cleavage was now tantalisingly teased into the stubborn Detective's eye-line, Maura's butt now resting on her heels rather than the couch having moved from her previously innocently seated position "Oh, Christ."

"I'd much rather you use my name as your chosen expletive rather than hear you blaspheme, but that'll do."

"Maura I-"

Sideways on, the persistent doctor craned her head gently to close the space between their lips "Jane, it's been _months_, and a woman has cravings."

Squirming backwards, an awkwardly nervous and uncharacteristic laugh emitted itself from the pinned brunette's lips "I thought most women went for pickles?"

Turning herself to position one leg either side of Jane's lap Maura's resolution was not broken, her small bump of a belly now the distance between Jane and her pursuer "You're not funny."

"Yeah well, you don't understand many jok—mffhmmm..." retaliation broken off by a firm kiss that quite literally took Jane's breath away it took all of the athletic woman's strength to push the usually meek woman's lips from her own "Alright! Alright! I want to have sex with you – of _course _I wanna have sex with you. But I'm scared we're gunna hurt the baby. That _I'm_ going to hurt the baby."

Maura's previous purr slackened into a much lighter, empathetic tone "Oh, Jane..."

"Y'see, I wasn't telling that big of a lie."

"It's a perfectly common fear, but completely irrational. Sex is considered safe during all stages of a normal pregnancy. The baby is fully protected by the amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus. There's also a thick mucus plug that seals the cervix and helps guard against infection."

It was clear that Maura's extensive garble of knowledge did little to make Jane feel better "Oh, well when you put it like _that_..."

"Your sarcasm is unbecoming. Anyway, a penis would not come into contact with the foetus, so I hardly think we have to worry about your tongue or fingers. It is however likely that my sex drive will diminish as the pregnancy goes on, so can we make the most of these moments? Jane... Jane?"

Jane was known as one of the most resilient of women, yet when in such close proximity with Maura that resilience broke easier than a junkie strung out with his fix dangled in front of his nose. Usually she'd contain herself, make sure to focus when in the morgue, or at a crime scene. Those were times when the medical examiner was flawlessly covered, showing a classy amount of skin and leaving everything to Jane's imagination. At work Jane _had_ to listen to what Maura said. At home all the talk turned into white noise as Jane's imagination was made obsolete.

At home Maura's swollen rack was well appreciated.

"Jane!"

"Uh, yeah?"

A satisfied grin settled on the doctor's lips. Pregnancy had _many_ advantages "My face is up here."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry guys, I've been a bit busy with either working, actually randomly having a life outside the house, and I was sick for a few days too! Thanks for the reviews and so forth in the meantime though!

* * *

"No. No way. You are not having a baby that might _lick_ people's faces."

"_Potentially_ lick, Jane. Giovanni has the right bone structure, heritage..."

"Yeah? Well so does Tommy, and _NO_ – you're not sleeping with my brother."

"Why not? At least then our child would have a better chance at having a 'beautiful mind'," the twinge of a badly hidden smirk did not go unnoticed by Jane, Maura having to flinch away from the elbow directed to her ribs. With a small, heart warming chuckle she continued "I was never intending to sleep with Giovanni, merely ask for a donation of his sperm which-"

"Ew. Can we not talk about us having a sample of his swimmers?"

"Well how else would I get pregnant without intercourse?"

Hand dramatically darting in front of her mouth, Jane's gag reflex came into play "As if the idea of you and him having sex wasn't gross enough the first time..."

Taking her partner's hand with her own Maura's eyes darkened as her joyful tone became serious "Jane, if _we_ are having a baby then I want he or she to have genetic similarity to both of us. Now until it is genetically viable for an ovum to be fertilised by another woman..."

"Or I magically grow a fully fledged wang..." Jane's sarcasm was soon halted by the doctor's narrowing eyes and a smack to the back of her own hand "Ouch! Okay, we need a sperm donor, got'cha."

"It doesn't have to be Giovanni, but he did seem the best option – geographically."

Again Jane's face contorted in disgust although her hand remained firmly intertwined with Maura's "I'd rather pay the fuel costs to go to a clinic than have '_you're lookin' hot_' be our kid's first words."

"Unless Giovanni was constantly around that wouldn't happen."

"And you think he wouldn't be?"

"He'd only be the donor, Jane. I don't see why-"

"You stopped him from lickin' your face and he still bought you a stuffed bear the size of Korsak. You reckon he'll stay away?"

Maura's lips parted, her words paused as she deliberated "... Fair point."

"Yeah, I thought so. Look, why don't you make is an appointment and we'll go pick up some files."

"No need," reaching to the coffee table Maura snapped her laptop open, Jane not at all surprised at what her browser history consisted of "We can do it all from here. See, Donor 143; Ethnic Origin is Italian, brown hair... Oh, green eyes. Shame..."

"Why do I feel like I'm back on ?"

"It's very much the same principle, only this time no one is trying to seduce you with Celtics tickets," leaning forward the shorter woman's eyes shined brightly in the glow from the screen "Oooh, Italian, six foot two... Brown eyes, good..."

Groaning, Jane's shoulders thumped back on the sofa "Shame, that'd make'em less boring than a few facts and figures."

"Well then maybe _I_ can seduce you with something?"

The sudden weight on her lap was something Jane was all too familiar with but it still caused her stomach to stir "Yeah? And what would that something be, Doctor Isles?"

"Registering your profile on lead to me acquiring a certain outfit." Ass comfortably planted on the other woman's lap Maura mentally thanked herself for convincing Jane to wear more v-neck shirts, index finger stroking at the exposed, tanned skin "One that I know you enjoyed, and one you should know is still in my closet."

Eyes flitting from Maura's exploring finger to Maura's suddenly all-too-seductive lips and back again Jane felt her mouth turn dry "Really...?"

"Mmhmm..." the sound came like a purr from the medical examiner's lips, Jane able to feel it vibrate through to her thighs as Maura continued to play, reversing her motion up the smoothness of her seat's throat "And I still owe you for that night in your uniform..."

Swallowing beneath the touch of the doctor's finger tip Jane's dark curls framed her features as she nodded in agreement "You really do..."

"So maybe that debt should be repaid..."Maura's finger finally met what moisture was left upon Jane's bottom lip before she made good use of her yoga classes, twisting and slipping with ease back next to Jane in front of the laptop "_Once_ you've helped me settle on five donors."

"_Maura_!" suddenly weightless all of Jane's limbs flailed, her palmed smacking at the couch, her feet stomping against the floor "There need to be rules against you doing that!"

"Its fine sweetie, I know your safe word..." leaning forward once more it was clear that Maura had no intention of paying attention to anything but the website, a lost cause "Maybe we don't have to go above six foot... You're only five foot ten... Oh! Here we go..."

"Christ, I'm gunna need a beer..."


End file.
